Saturday, February 26, 2011

I feel like I don't have anything to write about anymore.
There are nights when words seem out of place.
I feel so alone.
And vulnerable.
Like there is a monster underneath my bed, waiting to strike.
The weather reflects my insides today.
Gray and frozen. Bare.
But I tell myself I am okay.

All I want to do is huddle in a ball and weep nowadays.
Sweep away all of the hurt that is staining me.
Collect the cobwebs that sleep in the corners.
But it doesn't help.
Everything feels broken, un-orderly, like a mack truck has come and destroyed it all.
My gallery torn and scattered for all to see.
I don't care if people know anymore.
The telephone and I play games a lot;
I wait for the ring that proves someone cares,
though it never comes.
Sometimes I swear the damn thing is laughing at me.

I try to quiet the voices inside of my head.
They tell me I am not good enough.
And somewhere inside, I believe them.
But I have yielded.
I do not hear them as well, anymore.
They aren't screaming at me so loudly.

Lately, I am so sad.
At times I want to talk to the stranger across the street,
Tell him everything
Or just sit quietly; side by side.
Simply sharing the same oxygen.
Maybe then I might not feel so lonely.

My mind won't turn off at night.
I try and stop the nightmares.
But they always come;
Haunting me.

I wake in a panic, tiny beads of sweat rolling down my face.
And the realizing it was all make-believe still doesn't comfort me.
I am my own worst enemy, at times.
I feel like such a disappointment, even to myself.

Are you lonely too?

I love you all, fairies.

You are beautiful; simply wonderful. Your comments give me a reason to smile; even if just for a little while. Thank you. I hope all is well.



  1. I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now hun *hugs*

  2. as if those words were written based on my feelings... yes, love, i'm feeling so alone right now... i do wish you'll feel a lot better soon... please don't be lonely for so long... i love you!

  3. Your telephone isn't laughing, it's weeping.
    It knows I tried to call but I didn't have you number.
    I care.
    We are all so alone. We are all so broken.
    We must tell each other it will be okay.
    Maybe if we say it often enough, we might believe it ourselves.
    Talk to the stranger. He may be your soul mate.
    Sometimes it just takes one person to listen and really hear us.
    One person who just gets it.

  4. I'm sorry your sad.
    I'm always here.. Even though I'm sure that does absolutely no good, and is not something you want to hear. At least, not from me.
    You are so beautiful and amazing.
    I love you.