Thursday, January 12, 2012

I'm tired tonight, but I can't sleep. I keep writing and writing, but my words never ring the way I want them to anymore. Life is leaving me behind, and it won't let me catch up. I feel too much these days. Two people hugging in the hallway. That makes me feel so much. A lost dog sign on a street post. That makes me want to cry. I do cry.
I should have..
I should have..
I should have..
In the end you end up standing at the old train station you first saw him at, looking down at your shoes, hearing no music, feeling nothing but a lump in your throat.
In the end you lose everyone. You lose him.
Just please, tonight, hold me close and play Wolves Act 1 & 2, and let me trace the shape of your face until I finally remember it. Your nose, your eyes, your scar, your lips, you cheekbones. I never told him that when he left, I stopped eating. I got so skinny the bathwater would collect between my bones.
Maybe in the morning I'll wake and find that I'm sane. Maybe I won't wake up at all.


  1. :'( So beautiful and heartbreaking.
    Makes me want to cry too.

  2. My lovely V, I am so so happy about you wanting to talk/write.
    My e-mail is
    I want to begin right away because your words fit somewhere inside of me and feel so true and natural. xxx