Monday, June 7, 2010

A Broken Summer

The definition of Summer seems too perfect...
Summer: Falling asleep on the cool grass, it is everything good to eat. Summer is a thousand colors in a parched landscape, and the feeling of cold water running down your dry throat. Summer is wishing on a star for something you believe in, summer is sitting on the front porch with him while watching a rainstorm slowly pass, summer is the sunset as another perfect day comes to an end, and on a good day, summer is falling in love.

But why does Summer feel almost the exact opposite? We are so blinded, so dillusional by the thought of summer that when we finally reach the two month long vacation we become disappointed at how dreary and boring a summer's day can actually be. Some of the lucky ones enjoy each day eating ice cream with a friend, while most of us are indoors waiting by the telephone for the ring that indicates we aren't alone. Inevitably, more times than not, that phone call never comes and we find ourselves crawling into bed that night after another heartfelt prayer has been said for the blessing that something good will come, and that maybe things will be different tomorrow. They aren't. They won't be. And throughout the day after that, and even after that, I still sit at the piano, and think of you.

1 comment:

  1. lauren, lauren, lauren...

    why can't i be as perfect as you?

    this was, of course, amazing.

    i know that people always hate it when people say, "Oh i understand." because "no one ever really understands you." blah, blah, blah. so you can hate me for this or whatever, but i understand exactly what you're saying. i've had the exact same thing happen to me sooo many times it's crazy. but recently i had almost the exact same thing happen, with the exact same feelings... and every year i tell myself, "kay! this summer's gonna be great! i'm not gonna let it be like last summer, and be miserable the whole time." but you know what? almost every time.. some part of it turns miserable... and then the whole summer all i have on my mind is that thing. and it becomes part of my day, everyday. and then i make myself miserable. so i'm not saying you do that... but how you said sometimes we think summer is going to be this big and amazing time... when more than not, it's the exact opposite...

    BUT WE WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN THIS SUMMER, WILL WE? Hahaha. we'll play alllll the time(:

    anyway. you're amazing. i'm completely amazed by you more and more everyday! and just imagine how much more amazing this blog will make you! [that sounds weird. try to understand what i mean. hahaha.] welp. someday maybe i'll be a little more like you, and then maybe people will be my friend. (;
    haha i love you!