Thursday, April 7, 2011

Another page turns on the calendar, April now, not March.

I am spinning the silk threads of my story, weaving the fabric of my world. I want to swallow the bitter seeds of forgetfullness. I spin and weave and knit my words, until they start to take shape.

I am measuring out my life with coffee spoons. Living one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Breathing in and out, in and out. The picture of us is out of the frame. I gather the torn pieces of paper in my hand and let the wind cuddle them, like a fistful of glitter in the air. And like a faded piece of cloth; I am a failure. My soul is all wrong. All bent and twisted, all of this that hurts me so. What ever could it be that has brought me to this loss? I keep on expecting you to fade...

I am shaken tonight. Your voice screams from the shoeboxes in the basement. Our tearful words have turned back into steam.

I am a spirit, floating in the sky; disappearing into the never ending sunshine. Floating, weightless.

Oh, I don't know what to write about anymore. The feelings have lingered on, but my words have left me. What am I going to do? Without writing I say nothing, I have nothing, I am nothing. I am not sad. I am not happy. Nothing moves me anymore. I have missed you. All of you. I'm sorry for the silence in the past weeks. I am trying, I promise.


  1. Your words know all. Despite your feeling of loss in weaving a magical web of imagery and metaphor, it needn't be so true for you. Your words are calming. Cast out on delicate dreams, where strung clouds hold your followers together as we bask in the sunshine you're radiating.
    When living spontaneously seems impossible, precision is best. You are demonstrating this, and you won't know where you are heading, but at least there's a path for your steps to follow and tread. Fear will not stop the occurrence. See where it takes you.

    Your promises are worth more than a million wishes on the stars above. Take your time, it's nice to see you here X

  2. Your words are lovely.
    I fear that I am in the same stalemate
    feeling not a word that i put down.
    Sometimes I find that writing everyday, even if I don't like or feel it, can help me get back on track.

  3. your words are beautiful, love.

  4. Oh i know this feeling, love... but how can you say that the words left you when this is just beautiful as ever... :)

  5. Writing can come and go in waves, it's okay that it's not how you want it right now Trust that it will be, one day. I know it's scary, that time has a nasty way of passing us by; that minutes melt into hours and have become days before you know it; but you just have to jump on. Grab on to the ticking hands of the spinning clock. I believe in you. It will be okay. x

  6. Words never leave us. They might take a holiday, but they are always waiting to be released.
    A very nice write indeed.