Tuesday, August 23, 2011

It feels a bit like my time to crumble into a million tiny pieces and disappear again. And if literature is the only religion I have, why do I pick up a book and only think of you? The meaning of my thoughts have started to float away from me, like the leaves that fall from a tree into a river. I am the tree, the world is the river. It's just that everything feels so incredibly far away from me. I should have drowned us there in the room, ended our suffering. They would have found us floating face-down in two thousand white pages. Or buried under the salt of my evaporated tears. Why did I leave? Why can't I be the kind of person to stay? When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. Everything moved me. A dog followed a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calender that showed the wrong month. That made me cry. Lately, I've thought to myself, it's a shame that we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we live only one life, because if I'd had two, I would have spent one of them with him.





3 comments:

  1. This is a stunning piece of writing, I love it. "They would have found us floating face-down in two thousand white pages." Amazing!
    Thank you for your kind comment, dear! Yes it is a film camera, I love them!
    You're amazing, never stop writing please! x

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  2. I needed something to remind me why I started blogging, I needed some reasons not to leave it, and I found this. Valmai, this is really beautiful.

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  3. Your writing is exceptionally beautiful. That line, "Everything moved me. A dog followed a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calender that showed the wrong month. That made me cry. Lately, I've thought to myself, it's a shame that we have to live, but it's a tragedy that we live only one life, because if I'd had two, I would have spent one of them with him. " I just finished reading that book, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close. It's fantastic, and I love that you quoted it.

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