Thursday, November 24, 2011

I thought about you last night and the night before that and all of those nights in the years I never saw your face. It's like your a closed box in front of me I can't even open. You see, I am running out of words to say to you. I've written them all down. There couldn't be enough in me even if I tried. I've stuffed the letters I never sent underneath my bed, and scribbled all of my silence onto my arms where no one would ever see. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I cannot speak to you all of the words I always wanted to. I'm sorry that I never touched your face or held your hands when you needed me the most. I'm sorry I've never been there for you, or for me. There's too much to say, too much to apologize for, and even for that, I'm sorry. I've taken all of our heartaches and made them into a sweater I wear around the house. I hope you never see that sweater. I hope you never think about anything as much as I think about you.
Time is passing like a train I want so badly to be on, and I'm running out of time and room. You're too far gone and I wish I could have stopped you but there was nothing I could have said that could ever make you love me. I've given too much and lost too much there isn't anything more for me to give. Again, I'm sorry.

3 comments:

  1. Your words are beautiful as always. I couldn't stop staring at the words and couldn't stop wishing you'd write more. But to write any more of these means to feel even more pain. And I don't want that. I love you and I hope everything will be okay soon.

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  2. this is so beautiful and so are you.i hope you got my other words so if you want to talk to me there, you can.
    L xxx

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